HUMOUR

I GAVE AN APE A COMPUTER AND
IT WROTE A HUMOR ARTICLE

Godek the Orangutan

Do you know how hard it is coming up with funny ideas? Do you have any concept of the hours I spend thinking of ways to make you people laugh? I can only dispense so much silliness. The well of funny was bone-dry the day before this article’s deadline, so I snapped. I drove all the way to Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle and gazed upon hundreds of animals for inspiration. Animals are funny, right? Not these ones! Not a single animal was doing anything funny. In a fit of rage, I chucked my laptop into an enclosure and left. I came back 20 minutes later because I remembered I needed my laptop for actual school stuff, and lo, there it was, covered in mushy papaya atop a park bench where my orangutan savior had tossed it back for me. He had written my article for me, signing his name on the mousepad in what I choose to believe was mud. Thank you, Godek. The italicized writing is his, and I will forever remember his generosity.

Mmmm, gnarf, computer keys

How I love computer keys

In my mouth, so crunchy and sweet

Ouch

Oh dear, too many computer keys

Stuck in my teeth

Letters, mmmm, tastes like alphabet

My tummy is smart now

Can I fit my whole fist in my mouth? Yes! How wonderful.

I shall scream about it.

Wait.

Guys, are my arms too long? I feel like they’re too long and bendy.

Do I make people uncomfortable?

I need to sit down

Ouch ouch ouch

Head heavy

What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason! How infinite in faculty! In form and moving, how express and admirable! In action, how like an angel! In apprehension, how like a god! The beauty of the world! The paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence

of dust?

I take it back you can have it back

My face is mine and I don’t like it

Am I below?

Who put me there?

Spit them out, spit them out, cough them up, get them out

Get thpetougjvroplddr8tug8hrefvokdmpl;ogcivj

Hee hee

And that’s all from guest contributor Godek! If you like his work, he also used his brief period of consciousness to create a podcast.